Nostalgia.

I realised, i didn't write anything for my batch mates. Since i wont have the time to do so, i decided to send some of them emails instead.. only some. cause i dont know what to say to the rest..

Today's bio test was screwed. no time to finish although i totally knew how to do those questions! dammit ): grah. tmr's chem test, hope i'll be a little more awake and can do it like, faster -.-

AHHH I LOVE EVERYBODY! :D

oooo

i just realised my url is similar to glen's previous blog link :\

Strip me down to nothingness.

My term as the president of RVC has ended.

It started out rough. I had no idea how to control the choir, and I was so emotional back then too. So critical of others and so easily defeated by tiny things. Yea, I was really weak back then. It made me hate being a president alot cause I thought it prevented me from being a normal, committed choir member. How wrong I was.

I always thought my first priority would be to get the discipline on track, and that being strict and really stern with them would make them learn. I started out ending every practice with scoldings, and it didn't really show much result except that it stressed me out alot since i really hate scolding people. I thought it was the only way to make choir good. How wrong I was.

I doubted my committee when I first stepped up. I didn't, and couldn't trust them. We were all weak. And I was frustrated because I wasn't strong enough to do anything to change that. I resented my weakness. But it only made me feel more drained.

And yet, somehow, along the way, I slowly changed. I don't know how, don't know when, don't know why, I became less uptight and (slightly) more easygoing. I gave in to the fact that not everything's gonna turn out the way I want them to, and all I could do was to learn to expect the unexpected.

Obviously it wouldn't have been possible without a certain level of confidence. But I want all of you to know, confidence isn't something inborn. Well, it MIGHT be, but it can be cultivated to, if you so dearly wish for it.

First, you learn to see everyone on equal grounds. You're not superior or inferior to anyone. Second, Trust in your own abilities and your judgements. You can't expect anyone to listen to you if you don't trust what you're doing. Third, Be egoistical. You're the president, it's fine to boast about it once in awhile. But of course, it gets irritating if you really BELIEVE this, though i think it's fine if you meant it in a joking manner. like, i've always been saying, AMANDA ROCKS RIGHTTTTTTTT? :D Fourth, be nice! shower your members with care and concern, they'll learn to love you back too ^^

Confidence is crucial.

There were times when I found myself all alone while my other friends were having fun with each other. I felt really sad, but it really can't be helped. When there are responsibilities to uphold and things to deal with, i wasn't able to just stay with my clique and have fun. Although it does distant me from them, I still took pride in being a president.

I learnt a lot in my term of office, and I hope Joel would too. I hope he'd create his own legacy and leave behind even sweeter memories for the choir. I hope for the committee to work well together, set aside their differences and unite towards one common goal. I hope they'd never forget the feelings of joy when we received out Gold IV and Gold II, and always remember to never be complacent. Remember Ms Tham's words.

I thank everyone in choir, for making my term as a President such an enriching one. As cliche as it is, it'd never be the same without anyone of you. My committee, my batchmates, I hope I've been at least a decent leader that you guys could trust.

Outgoing Committee:

President: Amanda

Vice Pres: Xinyi, Junjie

Treasurer: Vanessa

Secretary: Amelia

SCs: Calvin, Pekkhoon

ASCs: Xue wen, Wei yang

SLs: He Ping, Yu Ning, Ching Xing, Gina, Clement, Hubert, Jun Wei, Shuoren

Librarians: Joel, Joelle

Incomming Committee:

President: Joel

Vice Pres: Vanessa

AVP: Levonne

Treasurer: Rae

Secretary: Joelle

SCs: Jun Wei, Wei Yang

ASCs: Xue wen, Glenvicia

SLs: Boon Fang, Xu Xi, Ha Nee, yuan fang, Clement, Hubert, Jiang Xu

Librarians: Si Ying, Jeremy

Joel, I've already written everything I wanted to say to you in the 18 letters LOL. Happy reading!

Vanessa, I have high hopes for you. I have lots of faith in you too. Please know that we love you as much as we love the rest of your batch. You guys are all my dearest dearest dearest juniors :D

Boonfang, Thanks for your toblerone and your letter! Im so sorry i didn't get you anything T_T and i'm sorry about the PT thing hahaha but it's kinda necessary ._. and you know now that it's much slacker than the seniors' already right! SEE YOU IN RVCS NEXT YEAR <3>

Yuanfang, hanee, heyyyy my alto juniors! I havent always been around with the section to help out much, Im sorry. Please do your best as the SLs because I had to fight pretty hard with the teachers for you two! I know you'll do fine as SLs so im not worried, but I promise to always be there for you if you ever need help ^^ AWESOME ALTOS ALMIGHTY!

Hubert, heyyyyy. i've written everything I wanted to tell you in the letter too. I'm kind of glad you almost cried while reading it, which means my feelings got through to you. I teared while writing it too, and i'm guilty because I could have done something to change it, but I didn't. But please remember I really do love you <:

rvc committee 2010/2011, jiayou!

Melancholy.

Im finally done with the video. and the presents too.

except for 2 letters, which i'll write in school ltr.

i'm spending so much time on this im not even doing my homework! gosh, i've like over a thousand words to check up on and bio and chem to revise for zzz. Cant wait for this week to be over. Im just hoping that Bio will be postponed or sth ><>

I kinda screwed up the chinese test today.. didnt know what to write for the ling gan thingy. grahhh. cx shuoren calvin desheng etc PONNED CHINESE REMEDIAL! im the only one who was so guai, never pon. CAUSE IM NOT IN IT IN THE FIRST PLACE >D hahahahahaha

but gosh, it's crazy. write one essay every single remedial lesson, i'd rather die ):

zuowen is my weakness :D

and now, even lang arts essay is a chore ><

walked around with cx today and she asked me what i thought about him. I don't know, he's just a friend, nothing more, maybe less. i don't knowwwwwww.

Handover in 12 hours.

Starting to be glad that it'd all be over soon~^^

then i can focus on OSS.

The Devil does exist.

AMANDAＣＨＡＮISＰＲＯＣＲＡＳＴＩＮＡＴＩＮＧTOOＭＵＣＨ！

argh.

I spent so much time on the handover gift but it's not even that nice ): it's meaningful IF he gets the meaning behind the words.. otherwise, it'd just be a waste. JOEL PLEASE BE SMART ENOUGH! :D

this is what i have to finish today:

The Right Word Pg. 7-13

Read Newsweek! <3

Lang arts essay? (maybe not)

HANDOVER GIFT -.-

revise chemchemchem.

Yeap! there're like, 4 tests next week.

1. chinese reading test - monday

2. bio test (human repro, genetics, variation) - tues/thurs

3. chem (organic chem) - friday

4. chem spa - tentative

I thought physics spa was relatively easy since i totally had too much time and even fell asleep during the test. Let's hope my result reflects my confidence.

I got accepted into OSS! And I did my first translation assignment on thursday :D I'm really happy yaknow, it's damn cool to do things like this. I want to be a good translator in the future :>

anway, i've decided to join the senior choir. I was hesitant at first, because I don't know if i want to continue in the same cca for like, 11 years when my future wont be anything music related. But then I realise it doesn't necessarily have to be. Curriculum is already hectic enough, my cca ought to be a place where i find some peace and enjoy myself right?

I still like music a lot. And I like singing a lot too. So i'm just going to ignore other problems like *some* people hating me in the choir and stay in there. I'll learn to get over things like this. I'll survive :D

Actually, it's really after Shaoxing that I made up my mind. I just know i'll regret my decision if I really left choir. far too many memories in my 4 years here. good ones, bad ones, we've all weathered it as a choir. And this's also the place where I matured, the place that allowed me to grow and gain so much confidence. to the extent that i'm not scared of going on stage now, it's more excitement than anxiety.

Yeap. I'll grow even more the next two years. In the mean time, no relationships allowed! FOCUS ON GROWING UP FIRST YOU DUMMY.

Amanda is awesome :D

The Joy.

I AM BACK FROM CHINA!

CONGRATULATIONS TO RVC AND RVCS FOR GETTING GOLD IV AND GOLD II RESPECTIVELY!

WE ROCK!

<3

handover on thurs! ):
two more days as rvc's president.

We'll have no regrets.

tomorrow's the day!

i forgot to post this yesterday, but i'm starting not to look forward to lang arts because of the topic. we're on FAMILY now, and it's so darn irritating reading those articles and watching those videos about parents and fatherhood and blah. it's a natural reaction, i can't help it.

school was pretty cool today, though i was sleepy half the time ): got caught by mrs llm during CID today zzzz. siancscxzcxzczcsxx. i barely survived the rest of the mass lecture. anyway, WE ARE EXEMPTED FROM MATHS TEST! i think mr ong decided not to do it after my scary sms HAHA.

today's practice was a little on the bad side. ms tham got angry with us. i feel bad, cause i couldn't sing properly. i was so much softer today and i can't concentrate either ):

i got to talk to him today, abit happy lah hahaha. i still remember his number after so long! gosh. call me dumb, but i'm damn happy when i see his name appear on my phone when it rings LOL. though it's just a liiiiiiitle heartbreaking to know that we wont ever be more than friends :x anyway, he wished me goodluck for sx :D

oh yes and john too, he pons and everything, but he never forgets to wish us good luck hahaha. SO NICE RIGHT SO NICE RIGHT! :D

and i'm happy today because of another thing. ADELINEEEEEEEEEE <3 yeap! she's my first buddy ever in rvc, and though we hardly even talk, and people think she's scary, i like/admire/respect her a hellll lot :D she's really nice, and cool, and pretteh, and scary in a good way~ and she wished us good luck! it was just one sentence, BUT I WAS SO HAPPY.

yeap! so for the sake of these people who wished and hoped that we'd do well, I WILL DO MY BESTEST BEST! and even though i have the feeling we won't do that well on stage, and we might seriously not win anything, i'll still (try) not to cry, since that's what we promised ms tham too.

maybe.. one sms from him after the competition would cheer me up considerably? :D

gosh, now i sound like those lovesick juniors that i have -_-
BUT NO, I'M NOT LOVESICK.

Grey skies..

how did merwyn find this place?

...


okay.


we had morning run this morning, with altos ♥
it was only 4 rounds though.. and a little bit of core. followed by sectionals, where we fixed the actions. a little embarrassing to sing since people are staring -.-

Lessons were alright, everything passed pretty quickly, partly because i was doing illegal things during lesson time. like doing chinese homework during maths and physics, and not paying much attention during chinese ): but i must totally applaud myself for having completed all my zuowenSSS even though i said i wont do them :x ha, the first step to a better meee.

[sidenote] there're so many people wanting to join tennis! o: but almost all the girls don't know who the mysterious cca leader is -.- i suppose those who want to join can come find me :D LOL i'll be their messenger ^^ [/sidenote]

anyway, now that i think of it, i'm not entirely sure if i want to have the maths test after we come back. I mean, it's such a chore having to stay back for a stupid test. this just goes to show how there's never a good time for tests zzz so i've decided, the ruckus i've caused was unnecessary and really unhelpful ): this doesn't mean i'm happy with having the test in shaoxing :D

i found out about something that's pretty bothersome.. totally hoping it's not real, or it'd be super awkward from now on zzz. but they're acting really childishly recently, abit funnnnneh.

listening to;
everytime we touch - cascada

old song, but still a beautiful one.

I AM SO PISSED OFF.

HOW CAN WE HAVE MATHS TEST DURING THE SHAO XING TRIP!

THEY'RE UNREASONABLE, INHUMANE, HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE, IDIOTIC, UN-UNDERSTANDING AND DID I MENTION UNREASONABLE?

I wouldn't mind if it's some language paper, but it's maths! IT'S NOT SOMETHING YOU CAN TAKE WITHOUT PREPARING.

maybe maths geniuses like xumeng and chingxing and everyone else can, but i can't! it's just unfair. and i totally didn't have time to revise for it these past few days, and now they do this to us!

it's not JUST MATHS. maths's the subject i need to pull up my results on esp for this term. HOW CAN I DO THAT WHEN THEY'RE DOING THIS.

Can't they just wait till we get back? like seriously.

argh. i'm so frustrated and pissed off now.

The First Post

Hello, I've finally decided to create a new blog, and gave up on my private one. Was wondering if I should make this blog known to others, and decided against it. If they chance upon it, then toooo bad.

It's a bit late, and extremely stupid of me to post this now, but still..

RESOLUTION FOR SEMESTER TWO:
1. Do well in Shaoxing!
2. Put in more effort to complete my homework.. or at least TRY TO.
3. Minimise time spent fangirling
4. Make a good decision in choosing the comm. don't regret it, like how the year 5s regretted theirs.
5. FULL EXEMPTION FROM EOYs.
6. Splurge less
7. Be a nicer person (?)

All the above requires lots of self-discipline, not exactly sure if it'll turn out well D:

As the day of the competition nears, memories of italy come flooding back. It was when Hazel and Weikai were still in rvc, and when we were the youngest in the choir. We had nothing to worry about besides singing out parts well. The time on stage, on the bus and the plane, shopping, sightseeing, in the hotel, playing cards, all of which are dear memories.

2 years later, we're now the oldest in the junior choir. From an SL to (reluctantly) a president, we've all been forced to grow up and shoulder much more responsibility. This year's trip is a lot more different.

The people. We had 32 the previous trip, and now there's 72. That's more than twice the number. It was easy to manage with a small group of people and much easier to have fun, which was why italy was memorable. Which is why, I've to constantly remind myself that we're going there for a competition.

The place. Italy --> China. Europe --> Asia. Self-explanatory.

The time. Next week is when all the term tests start coming in, and for me who's aiming for full exemption, it's risky.

I get totally turned off when i think of all these, but there'd still be this unexplainable excitement in my heart every once in a while. When I think about it, it's my turn to lead! I've to lead a whole bunch of animals (which'll really test my patience), but this would be the last event I'd be in charge of. The last thing I could do for the Choir. Before I step down. I'd have to remain positive and see through to this right?

I've grown to accept my position.
I feel a sense of pride towards the junior choir.
Even though many of them likes the senior choir more, I like the junior choir. Because it is the one i'm leading. the one that witnessed all my failures, the one that suffered under my wrath, and it's where my committee is. The committee that appeared so screwed up, and the same committee that stood united during march camp and made me feel proud to be their leader.

I don't want to leave.