the truth? i don't know.

i think i'm gonna give up trying to get closer to my currect clique. it's not gonna work out, i don't know why either. personality clash? yea we don't have much in common. they're people who can't trust others with their secrets, with the exception of 1 or 2 people. so i don't think i wanna force them to trust me, but that also means i won't be able to trust them since it's gotta be mutual..

no, i still love them a lot.

okay maybe not love. really like.

yea, i'm just gonna get pass this 1+ month and say bye to them. it's better if we don't meet that much hahaha. tension everywhere~

and yea, i made this decision after talking to some people and realising that they're so, so much suited for me than they'd ever be. They're fantastic friends, and i absolutely love talking to them cause they tell me about themselves too. It's not one-sided, finally. i'm much closer to mengying too, to my surprise hahaha. i never really thought i'd be able to hang out this well with a prc, but she's nice and she asks me for advice and actually values it, i feel so happy just talking to her ^^

these people make me feel my worth as their friend, they make me feel like i'm valued and not just someone they are 'obliged' to be with. It allows me to share the things I know and have experienced before, and learn the things I havent. I'm so happy to have them as my friends :D

I'm glad i met 4E, and this bunch of people that made my day ytd :) hahaha just thinking about them makes me all warm inside!

and here I am..

TA DAAAA.

happy birthday to myself long time ago!

let's seee what happened since i last posted.

...

...

...

...

i can't remember. as usual.

Okay i had fabulous presents, $300 in cash and a kpop night ticket(!!)..

And finally.

something unexpected happened.

FULL EXEMPTION!

which fulfils yet another wish of mine.

but nah, im not happy with full exemption cause i don't deserve it. my results aren't that great either. the comments the teachers gave.. first time i got negative comments. and it's comments that are not justified too. so it pissed me off. i'm fine with teachers saying "amanda should try to concentrate more in class to get better results in her end of years" than to say "amanda shouldn't let her grades drop even if she has no intention of taking the subject next year"

do i look like the kind of person to not study for a subject just because i don't wanna take it? gosh. seriously regret telling her any shit.

results wise.. people judge too easily. sure, i got full exemption, but it doesnt mean that i topped the class, seriously -_- i did pretty badly, on the contrary. the A1s i got were all borderline ones, and the only one worth mentioning is lang arts, which i topped the level for again. Still, people don't realise that my sciences dropped alot simply because 'she got full exemption'.

argh$#^@$*^*

another annoying thing. i INNOCENTLY, WITH A PURE INTENT, WITH ZERO INTENT OF SUANNING PEOPLE, told people to jiayou as a form of encouragement, and the first thing they can think of is, "wah don't suan me just because you have full exemption lah". I mean seriously, i can't even say good luck, jiayou, all the best now? What rubbish.

and shaun obviously got results a zillion times better than mine. all you guys could say was "aiya but you got full exemption!" HELLO ARE YOU GUYS STILL OKAY? GPA is the most inaccurate measure of a student's ability, imo. they should look at overall marks instead zzz.

okayyyyy.

whatever it is, i'll live with it in the end.

Now's the time to FIND SOMETHING TO DO and not rot at home for the next two weeks. I'm open to ideas. for now, there's swimming, manga, anime, and sleep -_-

okay. zai jian.