A day for liars.

Happy Teacher's Day Eve!

Celebrations were alright today, didn't feel as happy as I ought to.

Miss choo's danced to RING DING DONG, and it was AWESOME, for a teacher!

I know, im getting lazier and lazier and lazier in updating this place, but there really isn't much going on with my life that's worth mentioning. And i'm determined to only talk about positive, happy stuff and not those emo crapzsczsxs that i sometimes feel.

THEREFORE, there's nothing to talk about.

WHICH MEANS, my life's filled with misery.

BUT, that's the way life is.

BECAUSE, misery is the natural state of equilibrium, and happiness is but an ephemeral disequilibrium.


september's in another 8 hours! I've always loved this month for obvious reasons, but i love this month also because autumn is at its peak at this time of the year :)

Yeap, and the upcoming playlist will be the cantonese songs I used to listen to when I was younger, mostly by Twins. They were really famous when I was in Primary School, so yeaaaaa. I can't remember the songs by other singers, though there were quite a lot which were nice ):

Desperation.

Dear who ever is watching over me,

I HAVE NO WISH TO FAIL MATHS.

Please grant me an A1 for my maths test tomorrow T_T

I have worked hard for it. I think.

PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Amen.

Aren't dogs simply the cutest thing in this world?

To all suicidal people out there:

please don't kill yourself. Don't even try to.

Because you won't succeed unless you're brave enough to jump off a building.

or unless you get a poison so lethal you die after just consuming one drop of it.

otherwise,

you won't succeed. and you'll just live to regret that you ever tried.

I already do.

You'll find yourself so unbelievably stupid when you think about it calmly afterwards.

don't be a self-centered, unappreciative freak just because you can't handle what's on your back at the moment.

don't you know? things always get better. and you can't just die on your parents who worked their asses off to raise you up. no matter how freaking irritating, naggy, mean they are to you, they did raise you up with ample food and a more-than-decent house to live in! it's just not worth forgetting all of these just because of some schoolwork that can actually be sorted out.

I didn't use to understand how much the people around me meant to me, so i did stupid things that I rergret a lot. So I don't want the same to happen to people close to me, and that's also why i feel so strongly about this whole suicidal thing.

PEACE.

Happy National Day!

Watched The Last Airbender today with my cousins.

So-so plot, horrible script, not bad visuals.

I'd give it a 2.5/5 i think, be glad i even gave it a pass!

I didn't do a SINGLE homework the past 4 days, so i'm not sure if i can go out tmr ): I think i'll just do chem and maths and elit tmr, and leave the rest to the AYLC period! Really hope I make it tmr.

Made mummy angry because nobody told her we were going out for a movie with our relatives. thought she knew, since we were talking about it over wine yesterday. Oh well, the point is, she was angry. and if daddy found out, i'm gonna get screwed up all over againnnnnnn. nice, right?

Tmr's cca ): i'm kinda not looking forward to it cause it ends so late ): though i really want to be there when the new members come.. but we've cip so we can only be there at 5 -.- I'm hoping ernchuen goes for choir practices, and that jacky would go too. I'm actually not that desperate to make up the numbers, it's just that it'd be damn cool if our class had 9 choirister in it xD

oh well, the year 4s make up more than half the choir now -.-

Spare me.

Please.

Just leave me alone already.

You get a kick from being hated, from being called a bastard, how sadistic can you get? Go stick to someone else!

idiots.

i hate people who don't know any shit, but still talk as if they know everything.

fuck off and die please.

unnecessary comments just make you look like an idiot, don't you get it?

gosh.

we hardly even talk about anything, you don't even know 1% of the things about me, and you're acting as if you've known me for years. don't be so full of yourself please, egoistical bastard.

One month from now.

Today was tiring.

4 consecutive tests, 3 science 1 math.

Brain fried. Literally.

):


I don't know why we can't have just one successful choir outing.


...


argh.

nevermind. clique outing suits me fine too.



my mood got ruined! ):

but tmr's ndp so i think my mood will be a little better.

hmm.

Braindead.

Hi.

I started on my mission to be a better student.

Okay, there wasn't alot of homework to finish, more like lots of tests to prepare for. I'm so afraid I won't remember anything the moment I look at the essay question tmr, even though I spent so much time preparing for it too. Which is why I'm gonna look at my compiled notes (which i finally finished in the library today) again to make sure it stays.

I read through DC circuit and Practical electricity, quite easy but it's hard to remember everything when my brain's so filled with information on the Arts. Literally an information overload, gosh ):

Went back to visit the junior choir today, the year 2s sounded so out of tune, it hurt my ear listening to them. then suddenly a ray of hope struck through, I heard such a solid and in tune voice, looked up and realised it's Glenvicia. LOL. It was better after the year 3s and 2s joined in I guess, but Karimatanu was quite screwed imo.

GIOIA. don't know whether to go or not. it just has to be on that day eh? HAISSS. oh well.

Went to the library again. ms joined me a while after, and jx and friends were two tables down. finished my physics (besides magnetic effect of current) and pangsehed ms for homeeee <3>

Thursday night movie?

Friday after celebrations movie?

HOWHOWHOW GOT CID T_T

The lack of thinking.

I got really bored with researching on the arts and doing SPA exercises, which resulted in me blog hopping, a pretty rare sight nowadays.

anyway, went to xx's and yy's blog. I've to say they're two very inspiring blogs, goes to show they actually think. so when they blog, there's actually substance. unlike so many out there who only blogs about the timetable of their life. like oh at 8am i woke up for breakfast and then fell asleep again blahblahblah, you get the idea.

So then, it got me thinking on myself, obviously. I used to think a whole lot more than i do now, and even though thinking so much made me quite introverted, i thought i was a better person back then. And then when i forced myself to become more extroverted, I suppressed all other kinds of thinking and I think that's what led me into becoming such a shallow, superficial human being. It's so unsatisfying to have to admit this. Argh.

Therefore, i've decided I want to think more. It's going to be hard to restart my brain, but I believe it's necessary and definitely helpful cause i'd be a little less lazy ):

Which reminds me. I've been in quite a depressing mood this weekend. I just recently realised I'm so dependent on my computer and so addicted to it that I can't stay away from it for more than half an hour. My mind's telling i'm wasting precious time doing useless things, but I just can't bare to tear myself off the computer. Probably because I don't see the point in doing my work.

That is why I envy people with dreams.

People with dreams have something to work towards. They have a goal, something they want to achieve. because of that, they'd have the motivation to put in effort for their dreams because they know it's what they want. I don't have a dream. I've never put in any serious thought into what i'm going to be in the future, and that's just depressing cause everyone around me have dreams. I've great musicians around me, often labeled geniuses, people who have great academic results and can probably be whatever they wish to be, people who (despite it being seemingly impossible to reach) have dreams that can propel them into working harder. And that's making feel so lousy, so jealous of people with dreams.

To me, not having something to work towards is pathetic. (sorry to those in the same situation as I am..) It's like you just live your life, each day passing, often without any achievements or work done, and then regretting the time wasted and then feeling crap about myself. It's a vicious cycle I can't break out of. I mean, don't you feel so utterly useless sitting in front of a computer, updating your status every now and then on FB, checking out pictures or updates your friends made, playing those brainless yet addictive games (or maybe because it's brainless, hence the appeal) , basically doing nothing that helps with your future?

No, I don't condemn these things, but they're things that we do in our free time, for leisure, things we do in moderation. We're not supposed to be spending hours on it, while leaving the serious work we have to rot in your bag or maybe even wish for it to disappear magically. Yeap, I conclude, that I've gotten my priorities wrong. Okay no. I have them right, or I would never think that I'm wasting time, it's just that I have no self-discipline to stick to my priorities (sounds familiar, have i said this before?). That's it.

Self-discipline isn't easily acquired, it's the epitome of character development, imo. Since it's like that, it will require some drastic change in mindset and actions on my part. I'm starting off with trying to get each day's work done on that day itself. To make sure, i'll just stay in the school library everyday until I'm done. If there's time and i'm not too tired, I might just review what has been taught for the day :D This was actually motivated by my juniors, they've been doing this for the past week and I thought it's a great idea. Though I'm just gonna do it on my own because that's when I concentrate best.

yeap! starting tomorrow :D I should stop wanting to go home as early as possible, though it's kind of a wonderful thing to be able to go home at 1.30pm.. ): I WILL SACRIFICE MY DESIRES TO BE A BETTER PERSON. or student, in this case. I'm quite sure I won't get my full exemption so it's time to start preparing for the 20 chapters of Biology.

Oh yes, I promise to try and love my cca as much as possible too. I think i really do now, after the SX trip. So i'll try to maintain that kind of feeling and keep reminding myself of the feelings I felt on stage while waiting to receive the prize. The feeling's so amazing I doubt I'd ever forget ♥

Found out a couple of days ago that jonathan shin reads my blog. Quite cool, but please don't talk about it with my sister. and if she doesn't know about the blog, don't tell her. that person will mock me just because she knows she's so darn pro. grahhh.

END WITH A SONG! it's august now, so let's get into the National Day mood :D I love my country okay? And i've always loved celebrating national day (esp the coomunity singing) until I entered secondary school since it's always so sian. I'm changing my playlist to past NDP songs too, arranged according to my likinggggg. As a remembrance of the year we performed, today's song will be 2007's NDP theme song: Will you?

Will You?

Will You Singers: Janani Sridhar, Asha Edmund, Emma Yong, Lily Ann Rahmat,
Jai Wahab, Shabir Mohammed, Sebastian Tan, Gani Karim
Music & Lyrics by: Jimmy Ye

Will you make this island
Amazing in all ways?
Surprises every corner,
Delightful nights and days.

Will you take this country
And turn it from a place
To a home that greets you
With smiles on every face?

Will you come on this brave journey?
Will you help to make it real?
Will you write us grand new stories,
Songs that everyone will feel?

So...Will you swim the current?
Will you scale new heights?
Will you make it happen,
Will you let your dreams take flight?
And...Will you make the difference?
Will you seize the day?
Will you live each moment,
Will you dare to find new ways?

Will you take this city
And turn it from a place
To a home that greets you
With smiles on every face

Will you come on this brave journey?
Will you help to make it real?
Will you write us grand new stories,
Songs that everyone will feel?

So...Will you swim the current?
Will you scale new heights?
Will you make it happen,
Will you let your dreams take flight?
And...Will you make the difference?
Will you seize the day?
Will you live each moment,
Will you dare to find new ways?

Dare to find...
Dare to find...
Dare to find...New ways!

(: